Josie had become a workaholic. The money was great and her career was on the up and up which made her happy, but the time she devoted to her relationship had slowly dropped so much without her noticing that she was totally blindsided when her man ended the relationship.
She wasn’t going to let that happen, and after dialing back her work hours she went on a mission of figuring out how to get your ex back fast, and making sure it happened!
While I’ve changed the name, this is in fact the exact situation of my best friend almost a year ago, and it resulted in successfully rekindling the romance.
Whatever the reason for him ending the relationship, and whatever the reason that you find yourself no longer in your own relationship, you’ll be happy to know that there are ‘7’ psychological secrets and tactics on how to get your ex back fast.
Before we dive right in though, understand that some of these points don’t address any core problems with the prior relationship, but rather aim only to get him back with you as fast as humanly possible so that you can work on the core problems at a later date.
These could be considered higher risk strategies in some cases, which is sometimes required in order to get your ex back fast and without any delay.
High risk brings high reward, but it also brings a slightly higher possibility of things not going your way, so you use these techniques in a mature and responsible manner for best results.
Let’s dive into secret number one…
The ‘7’ Psychological Secrets For How To Get Your Ex Back FAST
1. Stimulate His Primal Needs
There’s no getting away from the fact that men often think with their lower head rather than the one with the brain in it.
They can be consumed by physical attraction and sexual desire, and while this may be a source of frustration in some situations it also presents psychologically based tactics that the savvy women can work very well to her advantage.
You’ve been in a relationship with this man before so you know exactly what he likes in a woman physically.
Make sure to activate his attraction triggers as intensely as possible and he simply won’t be able to look away.
Accentuate aspects of the style he likes in every way possible.
Whatever cut or color of hair he likes best, get it done.
Highlighting and improving on what you already know works will work wonders.
If there was jewelry that you know he would take notice of then make sure it’s always present and add to it with similar items.
Dress To Impress
Again, you know what he likes to see women in, and this might be separate from what you would have normally worn around him.
If you want the best possible results ensure that you tastefully wear the types of clothes and outfits that you know he finds attractive on women in general.
Even if it’s not your usual attire, use it anyway as an excellent method of stimulating his initial attraction triggers.
2. See Him By Any Means Possible (without creepy stalking!)
The process of how your ex back fast just won’t work if you can’t get him face to face (which doesn’t mean stalking or showing desperation and neediness).
Given you’ve been dating or in a relationship with him prior, you’ll likely have some idea of his schedule.
Use this to your advantage to accidentally (intentionally…) bump into him when you’re looking your best.
When it comes to social dynamics and psychology, bumping into him by coincidence gives you the benefit of plausible deniability in that you didn’t intend to see him but random chance made it happen anyway.
Once you can get in front of him you’ll be able to start putting the next steps of the process into action.
Some alternative methods of finding out where he’ll be are:
- keeping an eye on his social media
- finding out from mutual friends (remember the no creepy stalking rule though!)
Get a group together to do something fun that you know your ex enjoys.
Group outings are beneficial in some situations as psychologically speaking they will put him at ease and you can fly under the radar without him necessarily knowing that you’re strategically trying to win him back.
You don’t want to scare him off after all, which can be a fine line to balance on sometimes.
You can either ask him to a group outing directly if you’re on speaking terms, bring it up casually if you ‘bump’ into him, or have a mutual friend ask him.
You’ll be in a group which doesn’t always have the benefits of being alone with him of course, but on the other hand you may be able to use the ‘jealousy’ tactics detailed below.
3. Be Different
Any aspect of ‘You’ that you know contributed to breaking up in the first place must be put on the back burner from the outset.
Remember, it’s now time to get your ex back fast, it’s time to address and fix the problems later.
What you’re doing here is strategically avoiding anything that was problematic before and only showing him the side of you that you know he likes, even if it’s not the real and complete You.
Remember, in the context of this article the time for building bridges and discussing past problems is for later.
Avoid The Negative Triggers
Think about any aspects of your personality that caused problems and avoid doing those things totally.
He may have psychologically anchored these things in some way to feelings of negativity about the prior relationship and so you want to avoid them at all costs.
This will take a bit of honest assessment on your part, and it’s something easier to write down the negative triggers so that you can remain more mindful of them during this critical period of getting your ex back as fast as possible.
Negative trigger example 1: perhaps you used to talk over the top of him a little too much. In this case make a very conscious point of letting him talk as much as he wants to the point that you’re barely saying much at all. Remember, people like to hear themselves talk.
Negative trigger example 2: maybe you spend too much time on your phone or social media when you should be paying attention to something you are both discussing or doing together. If this is the case then put your phone on silent and keep it in your handbag or anywhere out of site. Make a point of focusing on him 100%.
Which leads us to the next point…
Put Your Ex’s Needs First
At this stage of winning your ex back fast you simply must put his needs and wants first.
This can be a double edged sword however.
On one hand you’re letting him get his way with things for the most part which can endear him to you extremely quickly.
However… this can also lead to him expecting this as an ongoing thing.
So while you put his needs first you should be subtle about it and also push back as little as possible, but as much as you need to so that he doesn’t think he can walk all over you.
4. Plant Seeds of Desire
Once you’re in front of your ex it’s time to turn up the heat by using certain tricks to get him desiring you.
It should be noted that we’re trying to turn up the sexual chemistry here, not necessarily so that it results in sex but so that he is turned on around you which will lead to him wanting to be with you so much more.
The trick here is to increase the sexual tension while you’re displaying your best and most attractive ‘self’.
However, be mindful of not moving into sex too quickly, rather you want to draw him in emotionally at the same time so he becomes invested in you.
Focus On Raunchy Memories
When you’re speaking with him you should bring up memories of instances where your shared experience was hot and heavy or where there was a lot of sexual tension.
This will, of course, get him turned on and reliving these fun memories in his mind, all adding to the attraction.
Up The Flirting
You can also increase his attraction to you with subtle flirting.
But remember, it must be subtle otherwise you run the risk of him pulling away if he thinks you’re trying to get him back.
A subtle touch here and there like you would a really good friend, or some casual sexual innuendo thrown into the conversation.
Don’t overdo it and read the situation very carefully, but also remember that this can be a key component to get him back fast.
5. Invoke Jealousy
While using jealousy intentionally can be considered slightly unethical and may end negatively, it’s also a tried and tested way to get your ex back fast.
Only ‘You’ can assess whether this is something you’re comfortable with.
If you’re willing to give it a shot here are some ideas to get you started…
Social Media Blitz
If you know your ex is still connected to you via social media then go on a social media posting campaign to highlight all of the awesome things in your life right now.
Whether it’s fun with friends, having awesome adventures or changing your look for something new and amazing, if he’s connected to you online you can be pretty sure he’ll be seeing it.
And the most he sees you having fun and living life to the fullest, the more he’ll be drawn to you and it he may experience mild jealousy triggers due to him missing out.
It’s human nature.
Who’s The Other Guy?
As an extension to the prior point about social media, make a point of including other guys into your social media posts or outings to really crank up the jealousy.
They can be friends, dates, anyone, as long as your ex sees you having fun with them and thinks there may be something romantic going on.
Remember, perception is reality.
You can take it a step further and be flirty with other guys when you’re around your ex.
This can be done if you strategically bump into him while you’re with another male, during a group outing, or even if you’re both hanging out together but are in a social setting enabling flirting with other people.
6. Shut Him Down
An excellent psychological trick is to leave him wanting.
When you know he’s having a great time with you, don’t let it go on and on.
Rather, end the conversation or outing a little earlier than expected so it ends at the height of his attraction to you and puts you in control.
He’ll be wanting to spend more time with you, he’ll miss you, and he may well contact you again soon to spend more time with you.
7. Make Him Feel Needed
Guys like to feel needed. If they can do something manly for a woman it can endear them to him, and you can use this to your advantage.
Find a way to get him to help you out with something more suited to men than women (even if you’re quite capable yourself) as this will give you two benefits:
- you will have an excuse to see him again, possibly in a setting that could lead to romance of some kind; and
- you will play on his feelings of being needed and wanted by a woman which has provides it’s own subtle form of attraction.