Getting over a break up can be one of the toughest things you’ll go through in life, especially if it was someone you loved and who meant a lot to you.
Moving on from a break up is very difficult and challenging, and sometimes it feels like you’re never going to get over it, but the reality is that, feelings fade over time and you will move on from this relationship and things will get better.
Whether your boyfriend or girlfriend broke up with you or you knew the breakup had to happen, it’s a hard thing to go through whether you wanted it to happen or not.
It’s especially difficult to move on from a painful breakup when you still love the person and you didn’t want to break up with them in the first place.
The change from being in a happy relationship and spending time with someone you love, to being alone and never seeing that person again is an extremely difficult situation to adjust to.
One of the toughest parts of a break up is not being able to contact that person anymore and not having them in your life.
The way the relationship ended can be a big determining factor on how much pain you’re going through.
Whether it was a face to face breakup, a phone call breakup or if it ended over social media (which you should never do because it’s one the most horrible ways to end things with someone) you’ll understandably be feeling a lot of pain and you’ll find it hard to understand why the relationship has ended. It’s hard to terms with the fact that that person isn’t in your life anymore.
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Whether you’re wondering how to get over a break up fast or want to move on from an ex, these are the 10 best ways to get over a breakup:
1. Let It All Out
You can tell yourself to be strong and try not to let the break up get to you, but you’re only human and you need to let yourself cry and be miserable for a few days. It’s understandable that you’ll be heartbroken after losing someone you love, so take some time to cry your eyes out, eat your favourite foods, binge watch a good TV show and give yourself the ultimate self care week. It may take days, weeks or even months to get all the emotions out, but let yourself feel the sadness and hurt instead of bottling it all up. You’ll feel a million times better after having a good cry and letting all of your emotions out.
2. Get Rid Of Any Memories Of Them
The saying ‘out of site, out of mind,’ definitely applies to breakups. If they broke your heart or you just want to move on from the breakup as quickly as possible, delete all of the photos you have on your phone together, get rid of any cute gifts they got you, hide anything away that reminds you of them at the back of your wardrobe or chuck it in the trash. You don’t want to have constant reminders of them in your life, so have a spring clean and redecorate your life without them in it. You don’t want to think you’ve moved on from them and then one day you walk past a teddy that they got you and all the emotions come flooding back.
3. Delete Them Off Social Media
If you’ve decided amicably to end the relationship, then you may not need to do this. But if it was a painful break up then you need to delete them off Snapchat/Instagram/Facebook etc. immediately. There’s no point in trying to check up on what they’re doing with their life now because it will only make you hurt more and make it harder to move on from them. Don’t watch their insta or snap stories and resist the urge to stalk them on Facebook. Deleting your ex off social media is a big step in moving on without them.
4. Don’t Try To Make Them Jealous
It can be so tempting to post lots of stories and photos of you with friends out enjoying yourselves to show your ex what an amazing time you’re having without them. However, they really don’t even deserve to know what you’re doing with your time now and you shouldn’t waste your energy on trying to make them jealous and regret breaking up with you. They’re not worth your time and so you should focus on yourself rather than trying to show them that you’re happy without them.
5. Don’t Go Back To Them
When you’re in the midst of your heartbreak and you’re hurting a lot, sometimes all you want is to cuddle up with your ex and have everything be ok again like it was before. If they reach out to you, don’t respond. It can seem extremely hard to do because even though they broke your heart, you still miss them and want to be with them at times. Have the strength to realise that that person was not the one for you and if you go back to them, you’ll only end up breaking up again in a matter of months and have to go through the heartache all over again. Let go of the hope that your love might rekindle and realise that you’re a much better person without them.
6. Don’t Stay Friends
Staying friends with your ex rarely ever works. If they suggest that they want to keep you as a friend, it’s giving you some type of hope that the relationship isn’t 100% over. It is well and truly over. If your ex wants to stay friends after the break up, this can be like a power play so they have some time of control over the situation. You won’t be able to completely get over them if you’re still their friend and they might just be keeping you as an option in the future by still wanting to be your friend. If you wanted a friendship, you would of put them in the friend zone a long time ago.
7. Start Reinventing Your Life
After you’ve gotten through most of the crying and depression stage of the break up, it’s time to pick yourself up and start making an amazing life for yourself again. It’s a huge shock to the system when you go from being in a relationship with someone to being single. You’ll find yourself with a lot more time on your hands and wondering what to do instead of hanging out with your ex now. Take up a new hobby such as an exercise class or learning an instrument, and if you started doing this before you met your ex, then pick up where you left off and get back into doing things for yourself.
8. Hang Out With Friends
Your friends are your support group in times of need and they will play a major part in helping you move on from a break up. Good friends will be there to hear you talk crap about your ex and listen to why they’re a complete jerk. Go out with your friends for lunch or for a walk and have a night out to enjoy yourselves and realise that there’s so many other people out there in the world. Your friends will give you great advice on how to deal with the breakup, especially if they’ve been through one themselves. Getting over a breakup is a lot easier when you have good people around you to help you get through it.
9. Don’t Start Dating Too Soon
It can be temping to jump straight back on the dating band wagon and get back in them game as soon you’ve broken up with your ex. It’s completely fine if you want to set up a Tinder profile or get on Bumble to distract yourself and realise that there are plenty more fish in the sea. However, you risk the rebound relationship situation by dating again too soon, so if you really want to date someone straight away, take your time with it and don’t rush into anything serious. If you think it will help, then by all means get back out there whenever you feel like it!
10. Keep Yourself Busy
Whenever you find yourself alone with your thoughts, that’s when you’ll start to overthink about the relationship, such as why it ended and start getting emotional about the whole situation. Don’t let your mind wander and start to think about what went wrong and how you could of done things differently. Keep your mind busy, even if you’re alone at home, read a good book, run a bath, plan a holiday or travel, play music or do anything that you enjoy that will keep you occupied and not thinking about the breakup. It’s hard enough to take your mind off your ex when all you seem to think about is them, so it’s important to do things you enjoy to stop yourself from thinking about them.
11. Remember That ‘The One’ Is Still Out There
During a breakup, it can feel like you’ve lost the only person you ever wanted to be with. But the fact that you’ve both broken up shows that it wasn’t meant to be and they weren’t your happy every after. It sometimes feels like they’re the only potential person for you in the world and you’re never going to find someone who makes you happy again. The reality is that there are probably thousands of people out there that you could have a happy relationship, and now that you’re not with out ex, you can start finding that one person who you’re truly meant to be with. Just remember that the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with is still out there and you haven’t even met them yet. There’s so many exciting things coming your way!
12. Focus On You
Now that you have your ex boyfriend or girlfriend out of your life, you can start focusing on you as a person. When you’re in a relationship it sometimes feels like the two of you are one person and you do a lot of the same things together. Now’s the time to start doing the things you’ve always wanted to do and focus on making yourself happy. If there’s a fun new exercise class you’ve been wanting to try, join up this week. If you’ve been wanting to fix your diet then start experimenting with new foods and cooking. Have some self-care nights where you pamper yourself with a face mask, a good book and have a bath to relax. If you’ve always wanted to travel but felt like you couldn’t because your partner didn’t want to, start planning that trip now.